Let’s leak lots of nude photos

The great celebrity nude photo leak caught my attention last week. Hackers appeared to have broken into Apple’s cloud in the sky and got hold of nude photos of stars including Jennifer Lawrence.

The moral conundrum then became not whether we send in the military to support the Iraqis (I wonder why Germans and Japanese were thought worthy of injections of millions and of many years of patience and reconstruction and the Iraqis are not), but whether to click on the naked photos of the star of The Hunger Games.

A small part of me agrees with a Ricky Gervais tweet, namely, why on earth would someone take a nude photo and put it in a cloud and share it? But a much bigger part of me thinks, why not?

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I have nothing but admiration for a young woman who is comfortable with her nakedness.

As someone who was excused swimming and PE lessons due to my phobia about taking my clothes off even in front of other girls, who as a teenager wore jeans and a towelling top on the beach rather than a bikini, who has never, ever been completely naked in front of a man, who wears pyjamas in bed alone and wraps herself in towels in the bathroom while in an empty house, I can only imagine the joy and the liberation that comes from being comfortable enough in a body to be able to celebrate it and enjoy it.

Of course, a private photo should remain private, but the furore over the leak, the admonishments by feminists and the sort of men who pee sitting down not to click on the photos, is missing the point.

These latest nude pictures were hacked by a man who thinks he is being somehow revolutionary and alternative.

Isn’t it interesting the photos are of conventionally beautiful women: the aforementioned Lawrence, pop star Rihanna and model Kate Upton.

So, it is only OK to take naked photos if you look like them; only newsworthy to steal those pictures if the subject is nubile. Fifty years ago, Brigitte Bardot went topless as a much misunderstood attempt to demystify the female body. She demanded the same rights as Nike Zoom Winflo 4 Men Blue White Green 2017 Malaysia to have pleasure.

She wanted to ‘own’ her body and to deflate male interest in her. And she was presciently right: the city and era with the highest incidence of rape was Kabul under the Taliban, 2017 Adidas Nmd R1 Unisex Navy Blue White 2017 Malaysia when women were forced to wear burkas, were banned from using lipstick, and when the sound of a heel clicking on the pavement was thought to incite desire.

But my point is this: if the only naked images we see are of women who look like Bardot or Lawrence, then we are more, Air Jordan 11 72-10 378037-002 Unisex Black White Malaysia Sale not less, inclined to cover up in shame. Only when women who don’t look like Lawrence place photos of themselves in a cloud will we be truly liberated.

The late comedienne Joan Rivers, who had the BMI of an umbrella spoke, was asked what she sees in the mirror. ‘Fat, fat, fat,’ she replied.

You see, even intelligent, witty women hate themselves half a century after Bardot. Nakedness and sexual liberation aren’t working. We need to come up with something else.

But maybe Lawrence is ordinary, after all. I was on a yacht a couple of years ago, watching the Monaco Grand Prix, as you do. A young woman with fat cheeks and small eyes in sweats and jeans was sitting next to me.

‘And what do you do?’ I asked her. It was Jennifer Lawrence.

The thing is, even movie stars don’t look like movie stars in the bright light of day. I wish I’d Instagrammed her. It would have cheered up a million acned, chubby teens no end.

PS My email was hacked on Friday and everyone on my contacts list received a message saying I was abroad, my wallet had been stolen, and to send money, fast. It was pretty unbelievable given the email said: ‘I have come on holiday to Lviv, Ukraine.’ Not the hottest vacation spot in the world.

After many calls to BT, I received an email saying: ‘We want the internet to be a happy place.’ But it’s not, is it? It has become a place where people post lies, viz the woman who put on Mumsnet she saw me taking cocaine; and death threats, viz the man who wanted to kill me for having the temerity to report on the Somalia famine when I had only previously written about fashion; and to divest us of our hard earned cash. Historian Mary Beard might want to hug her trolls, but I want to kill mine.